Q: I’ve just gotten engaged and would like my college roommate to be my matron of honor;  but she’s in the midst of a nasty divorce.  Would it be insensitive of me to ask her when my spirits are so high and hers so low?

A: Your friend may be going through a tough time right now, but imagine how hurt she’d be if you simply excluded her from your bridal party.  Start by having a heart-to-heart talk.  Ask her if she’d feel comfortable being a bridesmaid during her breakup.  She’ll probably accept, but your concern will give her a graceful way to decline if she wants to.

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