In days of yore it seemed that until the wedding day, guys and girls celebrated separately: girls had showers and guys had bachelor parties.

Like many other traditions, this one, too, is having a major makeover: co-ed showers are perfectly acceptable and “ette” has joined “bachelor” as girls get together for a final fling with their best friends. Like your guy friends as much as your girl friends? Co-ed wedding showers, dubbed “Jack and Jill” showers are the same as traditional showers, but, you guessed it, the groom and his friends are invited, too. When planning a Jack and Jill shower, think party activities or themes that work for guys and girls: Kitchen, wine or stock the bar, travel, outdoor gear, or tools and gadgets work for a coed party. (Note to planners: tempting as it might be, save the lingerie shower for “girls only” showers.)

Even the segregated bachelor and bachelorette parties are seeing the walls come down. Nowadays, the event is either combined into one party or split into two parts: one part together and one part separate. It’s a great way to leave the wedding details aside and have some quality time with your closest friends.