Get a signed copy of our latest book, Emily Post's Etiquette - The Centennial Edition, for yourself or to give as a gift, and support Vermont's independent bookstore Bridgeside Books.

Order Your Signed Copy

Join our Substack newsletter for more from Emily Post.

Sign Up

The Scruffy Usher Hero Label

The Scruffy Usher

Just as you wouldn't dismiss a bridesmaid who has gained 10 pounds, you can't force your usher to adopt different personal grooming habits for your wedding. Yes, it can be worrisome to think that one attendant might stand out among the others. But give the guy some credit: He no doubt grasps the seriousness of the day and will likely surprise you by rising to the occasion. If you really feel the need to say something, avoid this potential Bridezilla territory by asking your husband-to-be to apply some benevolent coercion: "Matt, you're going to get a haircut for the wedding, right, buddy?" If he doesn't clean up, so be it. He's your friend, so accept him as he is. Focus on what matters most—that your loved ones are there to stand beside you.