Books from The Emily Post Institute
THE GIFT OF GOOD MANNERS:
A Parent's Guide to Raising Respectful, Kind, Considerate Children
By Peggy Post & Cindy Post Senning, Ed.D.
A new survey by Public Agenda-a non-partisan
public policy research group—found 84 percent of survey participants
believe a major cause of disrespect in American society today
is too many parents failing to teach respect to children. However,
60 percent also agreed that even when parents try to "raise
their kids right," there are too many negative role models
in society that teach kids to be disrespectful. While complaints
are plentiful, solutions seem scarce in the 60-page summary of
findings on rudeness in America.
Can respect be taught? Are parents failing
to teach manners to children? Can a 14-year-old boy be convinced
that table manners matter? How can you help a child withstand
teasing and bullying without becoming resentful? What to do when
another parent's or teacher's rules vary greatly from your own?
Was it easier to teach manners to children forty years ago?
Answers and solutions are found in the new
book, “THE GIFT OF GOOD MANNERS: A Parent's Guide to Raising
Respectful, Kind, Considerate Children,” (HarperResource;
August, 2002; $24.95) by Peggy Post and Cindy Post Senning, Ed.D.
The Posts-the third generation family members of Emily Post-argue
that manners are unquestionably essential for every child's lifelong
success and self confidence.
According to Peggy Post, who writes a monthly
manners column in Parents and Good Housekeeping magazines, "Manners
education is inseparable from the other things a parent or primary
caregiver must do to raise a responsible, self-sufficient child.
It's not a kind of add-on that be attended to after the schoolwork
and the soccer, ballet and piano lessons are done. Instead, teaching
and modeling good manners are integral to daily family life."
The book is organized around three key principles:
1) it is best to model and teach manners virtually from birth
to adolescence; 2) manners education is most effective when geared
to a child's normal development; and 3) Mannerly behavior gives
both children and adults the self confidence to navigate daily
life.
The book is divided into six sections, based
on age, from birth through the high school years. In each chapter,
manners and teaching methods are geared to children's particular
capabilities during those years. Each section of "THE
GIFT OF GOOD MANNERS" is divided into five chapters that
deal with core manners topics including:
- Values and ethics: For each age:
how to model and teach the values you want to instill in your
child-from empathy and truthfulness to sportsmanship and self-discipline.
- Respect for self and others: One
of the fundamental principles of etiquette. It's importance
and how to teach it at any age. Building relationships with
sibling, peers, family members, coaches and teachers; sharing;
good sportsmanship; care of personal property, and taking responsibility
for chores.
- Spoken and written communications:
The art of conversation, listening and speaking skills, on the
telephone, e-mail, writing letters and thank-you notes-the importance
of the learning to be a good communicator.
- Table manners: from the mechanics
of eating to the social aspects of dining, an age by age guide
for teaching manners at the table.
- Out and about: For any situation
outside the home: restaurant outings, in the car, on the school
bus, attending parties, introducing people, shopping, going
to a friend's house or the library. Everything you need to know
to teach your child to handle these situations.
According to Cindy Post Senning, the book's
approach is positive: "Rather than talking about problems
that need to be fixed, we help parents teach kids to develop the
right instincts and behaviors from the start. We believe kids-even
teenagers-can and want to be respectful, kind and considerate."
"THE GIFT OF GOOD MANNERS" focuses on understanding
and modeling the principles and values that are the foundation
of manners, and then shows parents ways to help their children
take on these values and make them their own. The Posts also weigh
in on topics such as children with special needs, the over-programmed
child, etiquette for the new American family, overcoming obstacles
in parent-to-parent relationships, dealing with problems at school
and helping your teenager through the college application process.
These sections, called "For Every Age" are found at
the end of each section.
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