All the manners mentioned in this book are rooted in three fundamental principles: respect, consideration, and honesty. As your children learn manners, it is essential that they also learn these principles, for the manners by themselves are hollow rules to be memorized and soon forgotten.
Children learn from the adults around them. Treat children with respect and they will learn self-respect and to respect others. Treat them with consideration and they will learn to be considerate of others. Always be honest in what you do and say, and they will learn to be honest in all they do and say.
Manners are tools you give your children to help them navigate the complexities of social interaction. As with any tool, it takes practice to learn to use manners correctly. And then it takes repetition to develop those habits of use that will make them second nature. Play manners with your children. Practice handshakes. Role-play introductions. Have parties with dolls and stuffed animals. Develop secret signals to remember manners you’re working on. Praise your children when they get it right. Gently remind them when they don’t. Learn what you can expect and then expect it.
And finally, we would like to remind you of the Golden Rule of Parenting: Always behave the way you want your children to behave. They will learn the most from watching you. If you tell them to do one thing and then you do another, they will do what you do, not what you say. Respect them, show them what consideration is, and be honest. Then the manners you teach will be meaningful, and your children will take them to heart.
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