Newsroom
We asked Peter Post for the top five mistakes
that men make. Here’s what he had to say:
Essential
Manners for Men: Men’s Top Five Mistakes from Peter Post
Men can screw up in a lot of places in their
lives and, frankly, they can probably get away with it. But here
are five essentials which raise the hackles on the backs of the
peoples’ necks. Guard against these issues and your life
will take a turn for the better.
1. Table manners. For whatever reason people
judge people by their table manners. Eat like a slob, people will
think of you as a slob.
And, if you want one table manner above
all others to be careful about: don’t chew food with your
mouth open. It’s disgusting.
The fact is eating is really a social activity,
a time when we join a special someone, our family, friends, co-workers,
prospects or clients in a setting where we can talk and have a
good time. So focus on the people you are with, think about making
their experience with you the very best possible. And then act
accordingly. You can bet they’ll want to be with you again.
2. The toilet seat. Raise it to do your
business and then put it back down.
Here’s why. Look at that rim the next
time you go. Would you want to sit on it? Neither does she.
So you think, “Hey, why doesn’t
she put it down and share the load.” Because if it’s
the middle of the night or she forgets to look, she’s the
one that’s sitting on it, and honestly, I wouldn’t
want to have to face her afterwards. Neither do you.
It’s simply a matter of being considerate.
Anyway, why let something like this potentially turn her off to
you. It doesn’t make sense. Put it down.
3. Speaking of being inconsiderate, avoid
actions that put people around you down.
Like failing to introduce your significant
other to people you are talking to at a party. Instead, let the
others know you’re proud to be with her. Or like hogging
the remote and watching only what you want to watch on TV.
Do those little things that make her smile
when she thinks of you. Like putting dishes in the dishwasher
instead of leaving them on the table or in the sink. Like cleaning
out the sink after you shave. Like opening the car door for her
or holding her coat for her or standing when she approaches the
table in a restaurant.
4. Looking vs. staring. You know what I’m
talking about.
That head snapping stare doesn’t impress
anyone you are with. It’s a matter of focus. If an attractive
woman happens by while I’m with my wife, to be sure I notice
her. But I don’t let my noticing interfere with the focus
of my attention which remains on my wife. The minute my focus
shifts to the person I’m looking at, then I’m staring,
and I’m going to have a problem.
5. What your mother always tried to teach
you; say “please” and “thank you.”
It sounds trite, but it’s some of
the best advice you’ll ever get. Think of it this way:
When you say “please,” you turn
a demand into a request. When you say “thank you,”
you turn expecting someone to do something into appreciating what
someone is doing for you. People like to be asked to do something
and people really like being appreciated.
Where does this work for you? Everywhere.
It’s not just at home. It’s with your friends as well.
And it’s with your co-workers, prospects, clients, and suppliers.
It’s with your children. You can’t expect them to
do the things you ask of them if you don’t model the behaviors
yourself.
Saying “please” and “thank
you” costs you literally nothing, yet it can make the people
you are with think very highly of you and want to do things for
you and want be with you.
That’s it. Five little things you
can work on to improve your relationships at home with friends
and special people, and at work. Bottom line: that’s what
etiquette is really about. Knowing what to do and say to build
great relationships. I think we all want to be liked, we like
to be liked. Etiquette will help us to leave an impression of,
“What a great guy he is. I really like being with him.”
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