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Press Releases

For Release: May 23, 2001
Contact: Jennifer Forte
jforte@ptanaka.com
Patrice Tanaka & Company, Inc.
Tel: 212-229-0500
Fax: 212-229-0523

Brides and Grooms Want to Know:
How Can We Ask for Money as a Wedding Gift?

New Survey Identifies Most Challenging Bridal Etiquette Concerns;
Leading Authority Peggy Post Offers Solutions

NEW YORK - The number one etiquette issue challenging brides- and grooms-to-be is "how to request money as a wedding gift," according to a new online survey of engaged men and women. The "Wedding Etiquette Issues" survey was developed by American Express® Gift Cheques as part of the "$20,000 Dream Wedding" promotion in which American Express, WeddingChannel.com and The Emily Post Institute, Inc. offered two lucky couples $20,000 toward their dream weddings. The survey was conducted via WeddingChannel.com from January-March 2001, when more than 66,000 brides- and grooms-to-be entering the "$20,000 Dream Wedding" promotion responded to the optional survey question about the most challenging etiquette issues involved in planning a wedding.

Here's what betrothed couples participating in the survey had to say:

• Nearly half (42 percent) of brides- and grooms-to-be say that "how to request money as a wedding gift" is the most challenging etiquette issue they face as they plan their weddings;
• More than one-third (37 percent) of brides- and grooms-to-be identify "how to word invitations and/or address envelopes" as their top etiquette concern in wedding planning;
• Another common difficulty among engaged couples is "how to let people know where you are registered," cited by 21 percent of those surveyed.

Etiquette expert Peggy Post - director of The Emily Post Institute, Inc. and author of "Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette" (HarperResource, 2001) - offers valuable advice for dealing with the top etiquette issues facing brides- and grooms-to-be.

Etiquette Issue #1: "How to request money as a wedding gift"

According to Post, it's okay to ask for money as a wedding gift, however, it is extremely important to do so politely. Here are some of Post's suggestions:

• If money is the gift you would most appreciate, get the word out to family and close friends.
• If you are asked point blank what you would like, you might say, "Whatever you want to give us is wonderful, the choice is yours, but money is at the top of our wish list."
• It's also a good idea to state the intended purpose. Perhaps you are saving for a down payment on a house or your honeymoon. Guests will then know how their gift may be used.

Indeed, monetary gifting is a preferred bridal gift among couples and guests alike. Post points out that wedding guests, too, often ask if money is an acceptable gift. In a word, Post replies: absolutely.

"With more second marriages and couples coming to the altar with established households, there's not as much need today for toasters, tumblers and table settings. For many couples, money makes an ideal gift," says Post. "And there are terrific options in monetary gifting today; guests should consider alternatives to cash and personal checks such as universal gift certificates. I like the American Express Gift Cheque, which comes attractively packaged in a gold envelope just as a present should be."

According to American Express Vice President Kristine Olson, the elegant presentation of Gift Cheques has a definite impact on the gift recipient.

"What we find with Gift Cheques is that there's a special, keepsake value unlike cash or personal checks. Couples actually hold onto Gift Cheques they receive until they find the exact, perfect thing they want to buy with them, whether they want to put it toward furnishing their house or even to help pay for their wedding," says Olson. "Conversely, couples are likely to put cash or personal checks into their wallets or bank accounts and unwittingly spend these wedding gifts on mundane expenses such as groceries or utility bills."

Etiquette Issue #2: "How to word invitations and/or address envelopes"

According to Post, a wedding invitation is the first formal invitation that most people send. Add to the equation the importance of the invitation - it often sets the tone for the wedding - and it becomes clear why a string of five or six simple sentences can cause such angst.

Post cites the following common concerns in invitation and envelope wording:

· Whoever hosts the wedding is traditionally featured on the invitation. But in blended family situations, that might mean four sets of parents. Post's advice: so be it. Better to acknowledge all family members rather than alienate somebody.

· As for addressing envelopes, it's a mystery to most how to properly address an unmarried couple who live together. Proper etiquette: the woman's full name, with "Ms." as her salutation, should appear on the first line, and the man's full name should follow underneath on a separate line.

Post's new book, "Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette," as well as the WeddingChannel.com site, both include many examples of invitation wording and tips on addressing envelopes.

Etiquette Issue #3: "How to let people know where you are registered"

Bridal registries are a great way to ensure that couples receive gifts that they truly want. The traditional and most polite way to let people know where you are registered is to tell just your close friends and family, and then let them spread the word. Post adds:

• Nowadays, registry information is often included with the bridal shower invitations. This is an acceptable method of getting the word out as well, and is certainly convenient.
• Registry information should not be included with the wedding invitation. It's perceived by many as placing more emphasis on the gift and less on the request that the recipient join the couple on their special day.

For more information on Peggy Post or her book, "Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette, 4th Edition," visit www.emilypost.com/in_print/books.htm. For more information on American Express Gift Cheques or to order, call 800-828-GIFT or visit www.americanexpress.com/giftcheques.

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