Do you think it is okay for the bride or groom to have an attendant of the opposite sex (example: a female "best man" or a male "maid of honor")?

Yes it's okay: 60% (533 out of 888)
No it's not okay: 40% (355 out of 888)

Of the 888 respondents to our poll, 60% thought that having an attendant of the opposite sex was OK, while 40% did not.

Quite a few of those respondents who did not want opposite sex attendants thought the whole idea was ludicrous. Others cited tradition as the reason for having a maid of honor and a best man and saw no compelling reason to change the tradition. Two respondents said that it would only be appropriate in a same-sex 'commitment ceremony' but not at a traditional wedding. Several thought that it would pose problems for the marriage if the bride or groom chose a close friend of the opposite sex to be an attendant.

Of those supporting the idea, most based it on the premise that nowadays people have more friends of the opposite sex. Or, perhaps, a bride does not have a sister, but she has a brother with whom she is very close. One person commented that "it marks an improvement in the civility of the sexes to be friends with the opposite gender." Many gave examples of close friends or family members who served as attendants. One wrote, "My mother was my best man." Another, "I was 'best person' at the wedding of a male friend almost 30 years ago and I am a woman. I was thrilled that he asked me, because not only was he a loved friend, but his wife is also." "My best friend is a male and he will be my "Man of Honor" at my ceremony. Why should I choose a female when my best friend had shared everything with me - tearful nights, gallons of ice cream and two trips across the country in the car. He has earned the right over and over to be a part of my 'big' day." Another questions, "Is the significance of the attendant his/her sex or friendship?"

It is not unusual nowadays to see a mixed wedding party. The opposite sex attendant is a close friend or relative of the bride or groom. It is a mark of the honor and respect the bride or groom has for this person. This attendant is usually referred to as an honor attendant, Groomsperson or Bridesperson. The bridal tradition is that a bride or groom chooses a close friend or confidant to be their personal attendant. In our humble opinion, we see that tradition being honored, even if the gender is changed.

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