Return to Nesters
- Schedules. Both adult children and parents are used to coming and going as they please. They should let each other know of any schedule changes that will affect the other.
- Guests. They should let each other know when they're planning to have guests over so everyone is aware the shared living spaces may be tied up. Set up a procedure for dealing with schedule conflicts. Agree in advance if overnight guests are permitted.
- Responsibilities. Have a respectful but candid discussion about household chores and financial contributions. If the back-to-the-nester is short on funds, she may run errands, provide lawn care, cook, clean, or do laundry to help out. If rent is being paid (a good idea if possible), agree on a due date.
- Food. Agree on fridge rules—what's available to be eaten and what's off-limits.
- Quiet times. A note to parents: You may still work 9:00 AM to 5:00PM and sleep from 10:00PM to 6:00 AM, but your daughter's waitressing job may be from 6:00 PM to midnight and her sleep hours 3:00 AM to 11:00 AM. You'll both require peace and quiet time.
- Messages. Even if they seem trivial to one person, messages may be important to another. Whatever the message, it should be legible and left where it's easily seen.
- Respect shared spaces. Bathrooms, living or family rooms, and kitchens are everyone's responsibility. Clean up after yourself and leave spaces as neat as you would expect to find them.
- Privacy. Closed doors should be respected. Knock before entering. Mail, journals, and computer files should be treated as private.
- Respect other's belongings. Don't "borrow" without asking. If you break something that belongs to someone else, be prepared to replace it.