Borrowing and Lending

Borrowing

It's neighborly to be generous, but frequent borrowers soon become neighborhood pests. Essentially, when you borrow or use someone's things, you take responsibility for them. While it's preferable not to borrow from neighbors if you don't have to, follow these Four Cardinal Rules of Borrowing points of etiquette when you do:

• Ask for the item, but don't persist. If your neighbor says "no" or seems at all reluctant, drop the matter with a polite "I understand."
• Give a time when you will return the item, and be punctual. Don't abuse their trust if the lender says they need the item back by a specific time. The best practice is not to make someone ask you when the item will be returned.
• Return the item in at least as good condition as when you borrowed it. Refill the tank before you put the mower back. When "borrowing" a carton of milk or a can of motor oil, replace it exactly—same brand and quantity.
• Offer to repair, replace, or pay for anything damaged, broken, or lost. Don't just tell your neighbor what happened (or worse, ignore the whole thing) and expect them to let the matter slide.

Lending

It is your choice to lend something, so take responsibility when you make that choice.

• Don't lend out items you care about or could not afford to lose. The bottom line is that you are giving up some control, and you don't have to. It is okay to say 'No.' if you are unwilling to lend something. So be sure you are comfortable lending, or at least willing to accept the consequences, if something goes wrong.

It's a good idea to keep track of anything you lend out. My friend Margot has a "borrowing book." Whether the loan is clothing, books, or money, she writes down everything: who borrows the item, what item is borrowed, and when it will be returned. Maybe this strikes you as overkill, but after a friend borrowed Margot's favorite dress and $50 to pay bills—neither of which Margot saw again—she decided to keep track of who got what and when. "I don't mind lending stuff out," she says. "I just want to make sure I get it back."